I've always said "I don't find relaxing relaxing." I never want to stop, I constantly feel obligated to keep going and going and going, but unfortunately that is simply unsustainable. It feels strange to talk about relaxation like it’s an assignment – something to check off a to-do list. But sometimes you have to force yourself to prioritize it. You can’t function without it. No one can.

Some cultures understand this better than others. Spain has siestas and long, lazy meals with wine. In Italy, aperitivo is practically sacred. But in the US hustle culture reigns supreme, both due to the constantly rising cost of living and the cultural attitude towards rest. If you’re not grinding, if you’re not maxing out your schedule, it’s like you’re wasting your potential.

If you struggle to slow down, then consider it’s an obligation to learn how to relax.. Not in a forced, “sit here and do nothing” kind of way, but in a way that actually feels good. Here’s how.

Make Time for It – Like, Actually

If you don’t schedule time to take it easy, it won’t happen. There’s always another email, another errand, another reason to put it off. The to-do list never ends, which means rest has to be just as non-negotiable as work.

Think about it like meal times or workouts. You don’t “squeeze in” eating when you have a second; you plan for it. Do the same with downtime. Block off a slow morning, set an evening rule for no obligations, or even just carve out a half-hour before bed for a book (one that doesn’t demand brainpower). It doesn’t have to be complicated – it just has to exist.

Do Something Comforting

Relaxing doesn’t mean doing nothing. In fact, doing nothing often makes people more restless. The trick is to engage in something familiar and low-effort.

Read a book you already love, tend to your plants, work on a puzzle while jazz plays in the background. Even cleaning can be meditative if you let it. If it makes your mind settle instead of spin, you’re on the right track. My ADHD hates doing one thing at a time, so I've learned to combine listening to an audiobook with a craft hobby, most recently painting and crochet. 

And don’t be afraid to indulge. A soft blanket, warm drink, or cozy corner can make a difference - my favorite indulgence is the inflatable SaluSpa Hot Tub we bought for our house, and almost every night we soak in it before bed and literally feel the constant noise soak away. Relaxation should feel good, not forced.

Give Yourself Some Space

Even the most extroverted people need a break from socializing. It’s not about disliking people; it’s about letting your brain power down for a minute.

At least once a week, have time that belongs entirely to you. Take a walk alone, sit outside with a coffee, or just shut the door and lay down for a bit. Silence works for some, soft music for others. The goal is to step away from the constant noise – literal and metaphorical.

Use Scents and Supplements to Your Advantage

Relaxation isn’t just mental; it’s physical. Certain scents – lavender, chamomile, sandalwood and other herbal remedies – can signal your body to unwind. That’s why they show up in teas, candles, and pillow sprays. Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory, so one great thing to do is if you ever indulge in a luxurious spa experience, buy one of the scents so the smell always strikes up feelings of true relaxation. 

Supplements can help too. Magnesium, valerian root, and L-theanine are known for their calming effects, especially in the evenings. Even something as simple as a cup of herbal tea before bed can cue your brain that it’s time to slow down.

Create a Calming Space

A cluttered, chaotic space makes it harder to relax, whether you realize it or not the space around you has quite the impact. But perfection isn’t the goal – you don’t need a spotless house, just a designated space that feels peaceful.

Dim the lights, tidy up just enough, put on soft background noise, light a candle, maybe try to meditate. Maybe your bedroom becomes your screen-free, stress-free zone. Small changes can shift the entire atmosphere.

End on a High Note

Relaxation is easier when there’s a clear stopping point. If your brain is still in work mode, sitting down and trying to unwind feels impossible. That’s why finishing something first – whether it’s a task, a workout, or even just washing the dishes – can make relaxation feel more natural. It’s a mental shift from "I should be doing something" to "I’m done for now."

Sleep If You Need It

If you try to relax and immediately fall asleep, take that as a sign – you need more sleep. Nothing resets your system like actual rest. A short nap can take the edge off, and going to bed earlier a few nights in a row can change how you feel entirely.

If your mind won’t slow down at night, build a wind-down routine. Read something light, stretch, dim the lights earlier. It’s all about signaling to your brain that it’s time to power down.

Let Some Things Go

Not everything has to be done right now. Some tasks are urgent, but many can wait – giving yourself the grace to be a little less productive is sometimes one of the healthiest things you can do.

Will the laundry pile up if you ignore it? Sure. But do you really need to deep-clean your kitchen when you’re already exhausted? Probably not. Learn to recognize when you need a break, and take it without guilt.

Relaxation isn’t a luxury. It’s not optional. If you’re always running on empty, you’re never really at your best – mentally, physically, or emotionally. So if it feels uncomfortable at first, that’s fine. Keep at it. Learn what works for you. And remember – rest is just as valuable as productivity, if not more.